Forgivness

Forgiveness is much harder then just staying mad. Many know this already, it’s not a new concept, and most will agree. As a Christian I have struggled with forgiveness. Forgiving those who don't ask for it, forgiving those who sometimes I don't think deserve it. God teaches us to forgive, and turn the other cheek.


Sometimes in my case anyway, forgiveness comes even when it's not asked for. I know that it’s, not holding onto that grudge or about moving on to better things. It's about loving the person even when they do things that are wrong, or when they do or say something I do not agree with.

The thing is, I am not always ready to forgive, I don't always want to. I want that person to know they have hurt me, before I can forgive them, not to just forgive and them not know they did anything wrong. I want them to say they are sorry, not because it would help me forgive them so that we can move past it, but because they are truly sorry for what they have done. That means sometimes showing me that they can change their ways not just saying it.

Of course, I have forgiven many of them and we have moved on. But I can't seem to forget any of it. I am still apprehensive, and scared about getting hurt again. I don't want to get to close. I don't want to reveal much of myself.

I pray that God will help me with this.